Country Sayings 🗺️ in 2023

He’s slicker’n owl sh*t.

He couldn’t find his ass with both hands in his back pockets.

The porch light’s on, but no one’s home.

She has her nose so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm.

He’s only got one oar in the water.

You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your butt is mine.

I’m gonna tan your hide.

He hasn’t got the sense God gave a goose.

She could make a preacher cuss!

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Won’t hit a lick at a snake. (Translation: So lazy he wouldn’t chase a snake away.

So dumb he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.

I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.

She could start an argument in an empty house.

I am going to jerk a knot in your tail.

She has a dying duck fit.

I swan, you all musta pissed God off somehow. It’s drier than a popcorn fart ‘round these parts.

He’s as windy as a sack full of farts