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Grinch Sayings in 2024

Stupid. Ugly. Out of date. This is ridiculous. If I can’t find something nice to wear I’m not going.

4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one. 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me. I can’t cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing. I’m booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.

Oh, the Who-manity.

You can’t hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor because it isn’t about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights.

Christmas will always be as long as we stand heart to heart and hand in hand.

Am I just eating because I’m bored?

It’s because I’m green isn’t it?

One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri

BRILLIANT. You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn’t I think of that? Cut, print, moving on.

What is that stench? It’s fantastic.

Beautiful, isn’t it, Max? This, my little friend, is the Rein-Horn. It perfectly recreates the mating call of the reindeer. Behold.

It’s because I’m green isn’t it?

If you utter so much as one syllable, I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you’d like to fax me, press the star key.

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day.

I’m an idiot. You’re an idiot!

4:00, wallow in self-pity; 4:30, stare into te abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me—I can’t cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I’m booked

Yes, Whoville is great, that is known far and wide and three weeks through December, this place hits its stride. Yes, the Whos down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, in his cave north of Whoville, did not.

One man’s toxic sludge is another man’s potpourri.

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