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Witty Sayings in 2021

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isnโ€™t her youth he is seeking but his own.

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.

When I was born I was so surprised I didnโ€™t talk for a year and a half.

Marrying a man is like buying something youโ€™ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesnโ€™t always go with everything in the house.ย 

Itโ€™s the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.ย 

In God we trust; all others pay cash.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say โ€œI want to see the manager.โ€

Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

People always ask me, โ€˜Were you funny as a child?โ€™ Well, no, I was an accountant.

Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are

I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it.

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