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Country Sayings 🗺️ in 2025

He’s slicker’n owl sh*t.

He couldn’t find his ass with both hands in his back pockets.

The porch light’s on, but no one’s home.

She has her nose so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm.

He’s only got one oar in the water.

You better give your heart to Jesus, ’cause your butt is mine.

I’m gonna tan your hide.

He hasn’t got the sense God gave a goose.

She could make a preacher cuss!

She has a dying duck fit.

I swan, you all musta pissed God off somehow. It’s drier than a popcorn fart ‘round these parts.

He’s as windy as a sack full of farts

She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.

He’s about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule

He don’t know s**t from shinola.

He was so poor, he had a tumbleweed as a pet.

He’s about as useless as a screen door on a submarine/a trapdoor on a canoe.

You don’t know dip sh** from apple butter!

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