Witty Sayings in 2025

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people. 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.

Every man of genius sees the world at a different angle from his fellows, and there is his tragedy. ~

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.

I wonder if clothes in China say, “Made around the corner.

In the game of life, it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season

I never trust a man who doesn’t drink.

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.

Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.