Witty Sayings in 2025

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

Death is hereditary.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men.

Wine is bottled poetry. 

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be afraid to cough.

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.